beloyaltome: (Default)
Lenore ([personal profile] beloyaltome) wrote2021-09-22 10:46 pm

Inbox



Kindly leave your missives and offerings within and I shall endeavor to reply promptly.
honourthymother: (⚔ A d r i a n | 005)

[personal profile] honourthymother 2022-01-17 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
Her words are sour and leave an unfavorable taste in his mouth from the imagery. Alucard hadn't thought to ask where Diva obtained the blood of a virgin from, only that it was rare and apparently delicious. It was a risk, offering her gifts at all, as he assumed he might have ended up wearing the wine and having the flowers stuffed somewhere rather unpleasant. Deciding not to pass comment on the topic he simply remained holding out his gifts for her, in hopes she might grow tired of them being offered and finally take them.

"Aren't we? Then why does it feel as though I'm being attacked?" Trying not to sigh as finally he dropped his arms, his gifts hanging low in his grasp. Wincing his face as she spoke of the depths of his heart, of her only being convenient. She couldn't have been further from the truth. Alucard had sequestered himself away because of shame, it had taken a lot for him to return even knowing he would be unwelcomed.

"You're not wrong. Though I don't much care for your tone." Frowning at her before his expression once more falls soft towards her. "Lenore, I felt just awful, after everything that happened, be it in sane mind or under some curse of this place. Please, you can't assume I simply left you... Do you not or did you not feel anything for me? If not, then I feel such a fool..."
honourthymother: (⚔ A l u c a r d |  083)

[personal profile] honourthymother 2022-01-17 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
"Lenore, I saw your messages once I returned. I did not take the device with me." After all, why would he? He was not used to having such technology at hand and when he vanished, it had not occurred to him to keep it on him. A simple mistake, one of many he made apparently. "And so, because I was not ready when you were, I am unbefitting of the kindness and concern you displayed then? You speak as though my love and affections were fleeting and yet demonstrated how easy it is for you to have a change of heart." It seemed such a short passage of time for their kind, for her to grow so cold distant. It pained him more than his expression let on.

She sounded petty and vicious, every bit the scorned lover. Alucard mused on how he could fix this, what he could do now to put things right, only, his experiences are small and short-lived, he was not equipt to handle a force of nature such as Lenore. Taking the hint, Alucard's shoulders slumped as he sat on the edge of the fountain, never minding that he was splashed by the falling water.

Part of him wanted to run, wanted to hiss and snarl insults at her for being so vile with her words. It took all of his restraint not to do just that. Tossing the flowers aside, letting them spill from their ribbons and pretty paper across the stone of the fountain wall, as he popped the cork from the bottle. "It's my fault...I was too human with you. Too soft. I should have been more like my father..." Uttered under his breath, unsure if she heard him or not. Pressing his lips to the bottle, hesitating before tipping it back and partaking of the blood for himself.

Oh, he knows all too well that his apology isn't going to be good enough, nothing is for her, as it shouldn't be. Lenore should have the world at her pretty little feet, she should be given all she wants and needs without question, including Alucard's unwavering attention. "I'm sorry, Lenore. Sorry that I'm not good enough for you. Sorry that you wasted your time on my childish endeavors. Sorry that I didn't know how to cope with what was going on, with what I had done and was doing... Sorry that despite your warning, I started to fall in love with you."
honourthymother: (⚔ A l u c a r d |  038)

[personal profile] honourthymother 2022-01-17 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
Alucard knew he was terrible at apologizing. He'd never had to do to before, he'd only ever apologized to the dead and even then he wasn't sure how well it was received. "I tried not to upset you, Lenore. I wanted to protect you, your feelings, though I'm not very good at protecting anything that doesn't involve a fight and a sword. And I never wanted to fight with you. I was lonely. I didn't want to be and yet at the same time, I felt as though I deserved nothing more than to be alone. I didn't deserve you, your affection, or attention. And yet that's all I've ever wanted since the day I met you."

As Lenore clasped her delicate little hands and moved to her feet, Alucard shot up too, his chest visibly rising and falling faster as if in a panic that she might leave. Alucard was out of character clumsy as he rushed to set the bottle down, the thing tumbled and rolled on the wall of the fountain, some of its contents spilling out and dirtying the water with its rich colour. "I can't lose you because of this, Lenore. The thought of loving someone was never something I felt I'd ever experience. I was always too fearful I should break...Or that I'd somehow break them in return. How right I was..." Shaking his head, feeling her words sink in, her guilt, her hurt. It was painful, unbearably so.

It was hard to see her face, his eyes were a little blurry, heavy with sorrow. Still, he managed to look upon her, like a puppy that had had its nose slapped for chewing up its master's slippers. "I don't know where to begin, Lenore. I could tell you I thought of you, which I did, though that does not excuse the fact I never reached out. This is me, this is what I do, I hermit myself away with my thoughts, I've been alone for so long, Lenore, I don't quite know how to behave in a situation like this. Sorry doesn't feel like it would cut it and yet I am sorry. And scared. Scared that you'll never again grace me with the light you radiate when you smile towards me. Scared that you'll never again make my heart race with a mere touch or choice word. I'm scared that I've already done too much damage, Lenore."

He looked broken as he spoke. He hadn't wanted to let her see him crumble like this, but then again, it was hard to articulate himself when it came to matters of the heart.
honourthymother: (⚔ A d r i a n | 005)

[personal profile] honourthymother 2022-01-19 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
That pit in his stomach was slowly devouring him by now. With every word she spoke, no matter how softly and kindly she put it, the urge to flee was growing. It was horrible. He was no longer Adrian to her, just Alucard ... The irony of it, calling himself his fathers opposite, and yet here he was, lost in the madness of his own woes, blind to the suffering he'd caused those who actually cared about him.

The touch of her hand upon his cheek was bittersweet. Oh, how he'd missed her gentle touch. He wanted nothing more than to scoop her up in his arms and walk away with her somewhere into the night if only to make her smile and dote on her. But the look upon her pretty face told him what a bad idea that might have been.

Listening to her tale, feeling every moment of her suffering and sorrow, made him angry, frustrated that something such as that had happened to her of all people. Though silence was all he offered her, silence and understanding. When she was done, Alucard waited a moment before talking. His tone was soft, respectful, honest. "You want me to give you a strong foundation for our love to be built upon, and yet the tragedy is, Lenore, that the only Castle I've ever known constantly shifted, disjointed, and moved to where it was needed. I don't want to blame my terrible traits on something other than myself, but this is the first everything here, Lenore. My world was so small and unstable, it's easy to get lost and to lose sight of those I care for."